Sid Bacon

It has been great having Dan and Laura around, although Dan is headed back to San Diego soon and Laura is headed back to her place as well.  But we’ll soon have more company.  Mary is returning from San Luis Obispo, CA this Tuesday and Dan and Liz will be home for a long weekend starting Thursday evening.  We are sure blessed with the company, especially such easy company.
 

Yesterday we received a package from Andy and Kate – a bunch of “SIDSTRONG” … “TEAM BACON” purple bracelets.  We are proudly wearing them.  What a great idea!!  Thanks Andy and Kate!!  We are fighting this pancreatic cancer on multiple fronts!  And it is working … I know it is. Otherwise, how could I take 3-mile walk this morning in less than 45 minutes (they wanted a 15-min per mile pace, but I’m giving them 14:40-min per mile pace … I’ll be running if I go any faster). 
 

I also recently received a picture of colleagues attending the American Auditory Society meeting in Scottsdale, with the standard “Team Bacon” sign proudly displayed in the back row.  The support is truly overwhelming.  I know I keep saying that, but it is true.  The support you all provide is truly touching and uplifting.  Cathy and I look forward to reading the guestbook daily (or, multiple times daily) to get our “fix” of strength for the day.
 

Well, now that Dan and Laura have left to go home, I think it is time for me to take a long nap. 
 

Thanks again for all your love and support!

Although I relish living in the moment and taking one day at a time, it is admittedly a new approach to life and one that has at times been a struggle for me.  I like to plan and be organized.  Some of my (usually slight) troubles sleeping lately probably have been tied to my mind racing ahead of me, and not staying focused on the present.  In part I think it reflects the fact that I am feeling better and want to do more and more.  Some of it is healthy, as I think it is good to do some of the normal things that I used to do.  Some of it probably is not, as there is only so much that realistically I can do right now. I need to continue listening to my body and taking it slow.  I am fortunate to have my family reminding me of this and reminding me by their presence, phone calls, etc. that I need to stay focused on the important things in life (i.e., the people in my life).  This truly is an incredible journey.  We all are on the same journey, just different paths.  We need to enjoy our journeys and be grateful for what we have and who we have to share our journeys with.
 

I have had a good day today, and I am very grateful for that.  Cathy and I went on our walk this morning; it is great that she walks the first 1.5 miles with me before taking off on her run.  I am not ever going to tire of holding her hand and walking in the early morning.  Even when I am running again, I think I’ll ask if we can walk hand-in-hand part way … I’ve eaten well all day, which of course is a blessing.  Part of me wants to get better and better faster and faster, to see signs of great progress in each and every day (after all, I’m living in the moment …).  But I know that is unrealistic; the great strides I have seen of late can only be fully appreciated when one takes a look at my progress over a wider time window.  I am gaining weight, despite chemo.  But you can’t see that on a daily basis.  I am getting stronger and am now in sufficient shape to walk at a fast pace for several miles.  My nausea is more or less at bay (although sometimes I feel like I’m at sea).  My pain is gone.  So is my hair.  Life is good!  And when it doesn’t feel that way, look for signs that point to the good … they are there.  Trust me.
 

The March Madness bracket is out.  For those who are indifferent, please route for the Kansas Jayhawks.  All the rest of you, please root for the Jayhawks!  

This has been another good day!  I tend to be more nauseas at the beginning of each day, but it usually subsides by late morning and isn’t so bad as to keep me from eating a couple breakfasts!  Today was no exception, although I woke up feeling a little better than usual … a good start!  I usually have my first breakfast within 15 minutes of getting up, mainly so I can take one of my medications to help overcome that early morning queasy feeling.  After today’s first breakfast, Cathy and I went on a 3-mile walk (she didn’t run today, so I got to hold her hand the entire walk!).   It was an absolutely gorgeous morning; the sun was rising and you could feel the warmth increase as we strolled through the neighborhood.  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky … just blue sky and rising sun.  When we got home, Cathy fixed bacon and scrambled eggs laced with a high-calorie supplement.  Keep those calories coming!  I managed to do some work before taking a brief nap.  Work includes reading outside a few minutes here and there in order to get a little (and just a little) sun to my bald head …
 

Cathy spent most of her day at home today, grading an exam she gave to her graduate class last night. It was great to have her here.  She had to go to work a little bit ago, but fortunately she won’t be gone long.  She left while I was taking my second nap (see what a good day it is!).  She really takes great care of me, although she claims she isn’t doing much … Dan called soon after I awoke from my second nap.  It was great to talk with him.  He calls daily, just to touch base.  Laura will be coming back out tonight, after she picks up my sister-in-law (Mary) from the airport.  I will have plenty of company … it will be great! 
 

As you can tell, I am surrounded by loving family members and supported by so many friends and family who are unable to be here.  I feel very, very fortunate.  Of course, the hummingbirds are not providing much support; even though they could be here, they’ve flown the nest and have not returned.  I think they are hanging out in the yard enjoying our flowers, but unless I see them with one of their parents to compare sizes, I can’t really tell if it is one of our baby birds or not.  Oh well, you can’t have everything!
 

Sometimes it only feels that you can …

When you are sick you have plenty of time to contemplate.  This is especially true when you have cancer and are relegated to spending time at home, in doctors’ offices, at chemo clinics, etc.  At this point in my treatment, although I have plenty of good days, I’m not 100% and I can’t possibly work full-pace for the entire day. So, I have time to think.  One of the things I think about is:
 

Why me?
 

Why was I so lucky to have biological parents who recognized the importance of giving me up for adoption?  And why was I so lucky to be adopted by my parents in particular, who provided me such a wonderful and loving home in which to grow up?  And one that came with a big sister built in? Why did I have so many opportunities growing up that others throughout the world did not and do not have? Why me?
 

Why did I get to grow up knowing and understanding the importance of education?  Why did I have all the opportunities to pursue my education … to pursue the things that I wanted to pursue, not what someone else wanted me to pursue?  Why me?  Why did I have the opportunities to study where I did?  With whom I did?  Why was I so lucky?  Why me?
 

Why have I had the professional opportunities I have had, and been so lucky to meet the people I’ve met as a consequence of those opportunities? Certainly the outpouring from friends and colleagues that we see on this site underscores how lucky I am.  But why me?
 

Why did I get to marry my best friend … someone who has been my constant companion for over 30 years of married life?  Why do I still get to benefit from her constant love and friendship?  Why me?  Why am I so lucky?
 

Why have our children grown up to be the people they have grown up to be … individuals who are kind, compassionate, loving, funny, giving? Why have we had and continue to have such a wonderful life with them, even when we live apart?  Why am I so lucky?  Why me?
 

Although I’ve had plenty of time to contemplate these things, I must confess I’m not getting any closer to the answers.  Much of our lot in life is determined not by our doing, but by random occurrences and breaks, lucky or otherwise. We may think we control them, or at least some of them, but I’m not so sure.  What I do know is that we are better off focusing on the positive and focusing on how we respond to our various situations, because that is the only thing truly in our control.
 

Tomorrow is round 2 of this second cycle of my chemo regimen.  I fully expect my blood work to be such that I can have the full dose of chemo, as I have up until now. Bring it on!  I’m also hopeful that I’ve gained more weight … I’m trying, and that is all I can do. 
 

We fight together!

Round 2 of the second cycle of chemo went to Team Bacon!  The blood work was good and indicated that I could have the full dose of chemo (as expected, but always good to have confirmed).  Although I had not gained any weight this week, my weight was stable.  This was good news, as I have increased my cardio exercise this past week and consequently have burned more calories than in the previous weeks.  I’m just going to need to increase my caloric intake even more and increase my weight training to add more muscle weight.  It is all good.  I’m up for the challenge, and fully expect to see a 2-pound increase by next weigh-in. [Plus, we haven’t factored in what must have been several pounds of hair on my head that are no longer there … :)]
 

As you know, we have been overwhelmed by the support that people have provided us through the Caring Bridge Website and elsewhere.  Yesterday we received additional support: 
 

The ASU chapter of the National Student Speech Language Hearing Association is participating in this year's American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. The event will be held on April 20th at Sun Devil Stadium. The team name is Team Bacon! … the students are participating in the event to raise money and awareness for cancer in honor of me.  Cathy and I are truly touched by this.  

The Relay is: 

·        Overnight relay-style event

·        Teams of people camp out around a track

·        Members of each team take turns walking around the track for the duration of the event

·        Food, games, and activities provide entertainment and fundraising opportunities

·        Family-friendly environment for the entire community

Here is the link to the Team Bacon Relay for Life site. You can find more information here about how to participate, make a donation, or about Relay for Life: 
 

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?team_id=1147211&pg=team&fr_id=40319 
 

I plan to be there for some of the event to provide my support to these dedicated students, although I’m pretty sure I’m too old to be there all night … :).
 

Today at Piper Cathy and I met with a nurse to learn more about various holistic practices available to us.  We were surprised by, among other things, the lengthy questionnaire she gave me.  We may have been even more surprised by my answers.  Cancer has changed me, and for the better.  No, I am not glad I have this disease; I certainly wish I did not.  But we are impressed by how I have changed as a consequence of it.  I am confident that you have given me the strength to make those changes and that together I will continue to improve my attitude and focus on the positive aspects of life and will continue to become a better person.  There are so many ways in which we fight together and there are so many ways in which you provide support to Cathy and me … we won’t be able to articulate our appreciation sufficiently, but please know that we indeed greatly appreciate all you do!