Sid Bacon

Although I’m working hard to remain upbeat every day, it can be difficult when there are still so many things that remind me that I am battling cancer, and that my life has been more or less turned upside down.  Laura is at the hospital today, scheduled for surgery at 1:00.  Cathy is with her.  Laura will be kept overnight and released around noon tomorrow to come to our house.  We decided that I should not go to the hospital, because it would pose some risk of me picking up an infection.  I hate not being there.  I am not going to let this get me down, though it is a disappointing reminder of my condition …
 

It was great to have a short week this past week!  Too bad we don’t have another 3-day weekend coming up.  (I like the way those 3-day weekends are win-win: long weekend, short week.)  Nevertheless, Cathy and I should have a nice, relaxing weekend.  We will bring Laura home tomorrow and take care of her for as long as needed.  Cathy’s brother, John, is flying here from Denver on Sunday and spending the night before flying on to California on Monday for a short visit.  He’ll be back at the end of the week for another night.  It will be fun to have him here. 
 

I have included another wedding picture today.  This is a picture of both families immediately before the wedding.  We feel fortunate to have joined with Liz’s family; they are wonderful people who have enriched our lives already.  We look forward to many more years of getting together with them.
 

Cathy and I are contemplating a camping trip up north near Flagstaff for next weekend, if all things fall into place.  It would be nice to get out of the heat.  I am assuming that I will feel well enough to do this, especially because it will have been almost two weeks since my last chemo treatment.  We won’t plan our usual long hikes or bike rides, but we’ll plan to sit comfortably in camping chairs with a good book and a great appreciation for the outdoors.   If camping doesn’t pan out, we’ll find something else to do to have fun and escape the heat … movies and eating out at restaurants are a good way to do that.
 

I hate to be a broken record, but … thanks for all your love and support.  The fight is on-going; it is challenging, but we are fighting a marvelous fight with great results thus far.  Let’s keep it up! 
 

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  I will write again on Monday.  

I hope you all had a good weekend (and that you had a wonderful anniversary celebration, Doris).  Cathy and I had a nice weekend, although I must admit that I was in a funk on Saturday.  I was just out of sorts the whole day.  Unfortunately, I focused on negative aspects of my life and, despite Cathy’s best efforts, I just couldn’t come fully around to the positive. The day wasn’t ruined by any means, but it wasn’t as good as it could have been because of my lack of focus on the positive aspects of my life and the many blessings I have. 

Sometimes I let various things remind me of my current situation and challenges, and if I am not careful, I can get down about them.  On Saturday, among other things, I focused on the pain that I was experiencing.  It wasn’t intolerable, but it was a reminder of my disease and the fact that I am dependent upon my anti-pain patch to be comfortable.  (We have since decided to go back to the 60-hour replacement cycle … it was worth trying to stretch it to 72 hours, but I obviously need a more frequent replacement schedule.)  A better way to look at my situation is to realize how lucky I am to have access to these patches that allow me to be comfortable …

On Saturday I also was reminded of several things I can no longer do, and was discouraged by that.  I now can say that this kind of thinking is crazy. We all have things we can’t do, and that list seemingly increases (exponentially?) as we get older.  There is no point in dwelling on those things; better to focus on the many things we can do and be thankful for them.   If I would stop to think about what I am able to do now that I could not do two to three months ago, I would be jumping for joy (yes, I still can do that).  That is how I need to think.  That is how I help myself get better.  That is what I am resolved to do from now on …  I will do better!
 

Cathy brought Laura home from the hospital on Saturday afternoon.  It is great to have her at our house.  Her surgery was a success.  Now it is time to recover.  It will be at least three months before she can work again with that hand.  One of her challenges during recovery will be fighting off boredom.  She enjoys watching NBA basketball, so the currently on-going playoffs are entertaining.  She and I watched the Thunder beat the Spurs Saturday night; that was fun!  It was also fun to watch the Celtics and Heat on Sunday evening (though we were cheering for the Heat …).
 

Cathy’s brother, John, arrived Sunday morning from Denver.  Cathy prepared a wonderful brunch for us and then we went to see the movie “Bernie”.  I really enjoyed it.  I definitely recommend the move … it is quite a story and the acting is excellent.  We then came home and John baked some homemade bread.  He loves baking bread from scratch, and we love eating his bread!  Occasionally he even mails us a loaf … He’s a great brother (in-law).  

Our nephew/godson, Andy, and his beautiful fiancé, Kate, ran in a triathlon race in Boulder, Colorado this past weekend to raise money for cancer research.  (Kate participated in the “sprint triathlon” whereas Andy participated in the “Olympic triathlon”.) They did great!  I am so proud of them and grateful for their efforts.  We certainly need more research and funding for that research.

I really appreciate all the posts in the guestbook; I’m encouraged by your words of support.  I also welcome getting recommendations for readings, etc.  John, I’ll certainly check out the suggestions you sent in your post on June 1.  Thanks for sending those along.

I am looking forward to having the week off from traveling to Piper; I’m sure Cathy is, too.  We’ll spend the week building up my platelet count and getting ready for the CT scan and chemotherapy treatment next week … and, in the meantime, we will have fun and enjoy each day!
 

I spent the better part of yesterday dealing with nausea.  It is hard to know the cause.  One possibility is that we were at the end of the anti-nausea patch’s usefulness.  The medicine in those patches lasts seven days, and I suppose it is possible that the potency of the medicine decrease as we get to the end of those seven days.  We were scheduled to replace the patch yesterday, which we did.  We put a new one on last night and I feel fine today.  Whether or not that is the reason I feel better, I am not sure.  Regardless, I am thankful that I feel better and that I don’t often have to deal with being nauseous.  That makes for a terrific Tuesday.  (You don’t have to be nauseous for long before you are grateful for all those days when you are feeling good.) My appetite is strong today, and I’m ready to put on a few pounds! 
 

Speaking of eating, we are looking forward to going out to eat tonight with our friends, John and Mary.  We haven’t seen them for awhile, so it will be good to get caught up.  (Mary is the one who recommended the book “Unbroken” … I highly recommend it, too.)
 

Laura is still recuperating at our house.  Although she is still in considerable pain, it is getting better.  Unfortunately, the pain wakes her up every four hours or so during the night (in time for another dose of pain medication). But on the bright side, she can nap throughout the day, which gives her something to do ...  In the evening, there are still basketball games to keep her entertained.  Last night’s game was fun to watch and quite satisfying in terms of the outcome.   We’ll hope for a good outcome with tonight’s game.
 

I appreciated the many guestbook posts yesterday, and I know there are many others who also send their support my way.  It is comforting to have so much support.  I feel we are in this together, and your strong support will continue to help me have more good days than bad.  Thanks for all you do.

We went out to eat dinner last night with our friends, John and Mary.  It was a barbecue joint where you order as you go through the line, cafeteria style. I think it took me only about 10-15 minutes to eat my dinner.  But over two hours later we were still sitting in the booth talking away.  We finally left when we felt that we were stopping the restaurant from closing for the evening (there weren’t many customers there last night).  It probably had been about two months since John and Mary had stopped by our house to visit.  These are friends we don’t see often enough, but whenever we part we say we need to get together again sooner rather than later.  It is usually later … not because we don’t want to get together, but we just get caught up in our busy lives.   Whenever we do get together, regardless of how much time has passed, it feels as though we had just been together.  Our conversations don’t miss a beat.  There is something comforting in that, something reassuring in those relationships.  Everyone should have those kinds of friends … dear friends, the best of friends.  Friends you can always rely upon … ones who always will be there for you.  I certainly feel blessed to have Mary and John as our friends.

The Caring Bridge web site has been an incredible blessing for me.  At first, I thought it was simply going to be a way for us to keep others posted on my progress.  It has turned out to be much more than that!  It has allowed me to connect to a wide range of friends.  In many cases, I am re-connecting with friends from many years ago.  And in some cases, I’m even making new friends.  The power of social media is impressive.  I must admit that thus far this is my only experience with social media (I don’t, for example, have a facebook account, though I did see “The Social Network” …).  Today there are so many different ways to connect with friends.  For those nearby, it is hard to beat face-to-face encounters.  But for those farther away, it sure is nice to use the power of electronic communications to stay in touch.  We need friends and we need to be friends to one another.  Thanks to all of you for being a friend to me. 

I am battling back pain and a little bit of nausea today.  I have pills to supplement the anti-pain and anti-nausea patches, so I should be able to get this all under control.  It certainly didn’t stop me from my morning walk or my two breakfasts!  So, no complaints.

We are attending a memorial service today for one of Cathy’s uncles, who passed away last week.  It is times like this that we are reminded of how precious life is, and how we should make the most of our time on earth.  We never know how much time we will have, so we shouldn’t delay doing important things such as telling someone you love them, giving someone a hug, or just reaching out and telling your friends how much you appreciate their friendship.  I want you all to know how much I appreciate your friendship and your love and support.  I could not fight this battle without you.  You are important to me.

Cancer has turned our lives upside down.  There is just no denying it.  These past nearly five months have been quite a ride.  We have come an incredibly long way in our fight against this awful disease, for which I am immensely grateful.  Initially I was terribly sick, and our focus was getting through each day. Even as I improved, we could not plan more than a day in advance because we just didn’t know how I would feel.  So, for example, when someone wanted to stop by to see me, the best we could do was give them a tentative date and time, and ask them to remain flexible … we had to cancel some of those visits, because I just didn’t feel well enough to visit for even a half an hour.  Fortunately, I feel much better now; we can pretty much plan on me feeling well enough to see visitors anytime, even if I’m not feeling my best. 
 

Now that I am feeling better, Cathy and I are starting to focus on how we are going to live our lives in the longer term.  The disease will be with us for some time, so we need to learn how to live fulfilling lives in the face of the limitations imposed by the cancer and the treatments geared towards eradicating it.  In short, we need to learn how to live our new lives to the fullest.  As much as possible, we must take control of our lives, and not let the cancer do it for us.  We need to set our own agendas, and not let the cancer completely control our journey.  At times this won’t be easy, but it always will be important.  Although the disease or treatment will sometimes trump our plans, other times we will win and the journey will be ours as planned.
 

Our new lives must be a balance between living in the moment and planning for the future.  Although our future may look different now than it did a year ago, we will shape that future and ensure that it is no less important or enjoyable.  We are going to lead a complete life together.  It is our destiny.
 

We already are starting to take control of our lives and shape our immediate future.  We still plan to go camping this weekend.  We will pack our tent, sleeping bags, and other camping paraphernalia – and my mini pharmacy – and hit the road tomorrow afternoon.  In addition, we’ve made reservations to visit Dan and Liz in early July for a couple days.  And we’ll be going to Colorado in late July for Andy (our nephew/godson) and Kate’s wedding.  It feels good to be taking charge and doing things other than waiting for the next round of chemo.  Though I must admit, I’m looking forward to starting the next cycle on Thursday …