Sid Bacon

I have been struggling with significant back pain and nausea for a while now. It isn’t getting better, and in fact it seems to be getting worse. Some of my nausea this past week can be attributed to the chemotherapy drugs, although I was nauseous immediately before my treatment, so the chemo drugs cannot be the whole story.
 

Cathy and I went to Piper this morning for a scheduled appointment. We would not normally be scheduled on our off week, but it is standard for them to see their patients on the first off week when starting this new regimen. The folks at Piper are working hard to address my back pain and nausea. Part of the nausea, I think, is due to my increase in use of narcotics to address the back pain … vicious cycle.
 

It has been decided that I will undergo an endoscopic procedure next Wednesday at Mayo hospital. The surgeon who installed my stent will be doing the procedure. The goal is to look around closely to see if there is anything obvious that is causing the pain. One outcome of the procedure might be a nerve-block … a temporary dulling of a nerve bundle to see if that eliminates the pain. Because I will be undergoing this procedure, I will not be having chemotherapy treatment next week. We need to get me feeling better before I can tackle the chemo. Sounds like a plan to me!
 

On the bright side, it was great to have Dan, Liz, and Laura here this past weekend.  It just so happened to be Cathy’s birthday as well … great timing! Dan and Liz brought their new dog, Nashley, along with them. She is a great dog … so sweet and well-behaved.  As you can see from the picture, I got a little quality time with my grand-dog (we were pretty well color-coordinated, don’t you think?).
 

Nashley and Laura’s dog, Che, got along just fine. Che is pretty old and slow-moving, so there wasn’t lots of playing going on.  But at least they were friendly with one another.
 

I’ll stop here and try to write more tomorrow. I really appreciate your support, perhaps especially when I hit these bumps in the recovery road.

I am having a fairly relaxing day, addressing a back-log of email and working on my editorship duties in between rests.  The rests are necessary to keep the nausea at bay. So far so good ... I’m keeping everything down that I’ve eaten.
 

Cathy and I went on a short, hand-in-hand walk (stroll) this morning. It was ever so kind of her to forgo her run in lieu of the walk.  I feel she is always by my side, sometimes literally. My pace isn’t anything near what it was a couple weeks ago, nor is my stamina or distance. This can largely be attributed to the chemo, which is more or less guaranteed to cause fatigue. Some of it, however, is also most likely due to the fact that I’m just not feeling anywhere near 100% yet.  That will come, once we get to the origin of my back pain. Once we achieve that, I fully expect to be walking a brisk three miles every morning, except perhaps while I’m tethered to my portable pump. At that time, the walks will be a bit shorter and less brisk. But they will be there, as I think it is important for me to keep up the exercise routine.
 

At weigh-in yesterday, I discovered that I had lost 10 pounds in the last two weeks.  I’ve battled this battle before … and won … and I’m prepared to do so again. Indeed, last time I lost 20 pounds and gained them all back.  If I can stop the weight loss at 10 pounds, I should have a much easier time getting back to my pre-diagnosis weight. It is just amazing how easy it is to lose the weight and how hard it is for me to gain it back. I’m eating as much as I can (which isn’t much) and drinking lots of fluids today. I’ve been dehydrated lately, which is why they gave me fluids intravenously yesterday at Piper. Once I get my appetite back, I’ll be well on my way …
 

In yesterday’s local paper there was an article about “my” dream team of medical care providers at Piper. I’ve attached the link here, so all you have to do is click on this link to get to the story:http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2012/08/25/20120825phoenix-area-experts-join-cancer-telethon.html
 

As you will see in the story, there is a nationally televised fundraiser this Friday night, covered by all major networks. I plan to watch. I hope you find the story interesting, and even find time to watch at least part of the show. I’m sure I for one will find it educational.
 

I think Cathy and I were lulled into a very comfortable sense of normalcy. For quite some time, I felt really good.  And I am so grateful for those days. But of course I want them back. And Cathy wants them back. We want our lives back. I think it must be much easier to be the person who is sick, and incredibly more difficult to be the caregiver. I know what it is like for me; I have almost no idea what it is like for her. She – somehow – takes it all in stride with incredible grace and love. At 24 years of age, in the throes of a joyous wedding, how could you really know what “… and in bad” really meant? Thirty-one years later and I think we are getting a close-up glimpse. It is a little scary. My job is to try to make the bad not so bad.
 

Thank you so much for all the guestbook posts and individual emails you sent yesterday. I love hearing from you. It means a great deal to me. Indeed, words simply cannot express how much you mean to me and to our fight against this awful disease. Despite our current setback, we are winning. I must keep focused on that!

I am still struggling with back pain and nausea, and I’m becoming more convinced that the nausea is at least partially tied to the increased amount of narcotics I am taking to deal with the pain.  I just don’t deal with these drugs very well. I guess I have a weak stomach. At one point in time I was referred to as being “narcotics naïve”, though you’d think I would have graduated past that stage long ago!  In the past couple weeks, we have doubled the strength of my pain patch and I’ve been supplementing that with oxycodone. I have no appetite and am having a hard time keeping down what I do eat. I am making some progress (i.e., I’m keeping some things down), however, so am hopeful that each day will get better. As far as today goes … so far so good. In reality, significant improvements may not be seen until we can back off the pain medication.  I’m putting a lot of hope into the endoscopic procedure scheduled for next Wednesday. If they do a nerve block, we should be able to back way off from the pain meds, and I should feel lots better.
 

Last night Cathy put a new pain patch on me before going to bed. My back pain is significantly less today than it has been … I haven’t needed any oxycodone yet.  It could be that this higher dose of the pain patch is finally doing its thing, which would be great. Unfortunately, I am somewhat nauseous today … though fortunately, I do have plenty of drugs to combat the nausea (a patch and three different types of pills), so I’m doing my best to keep the nausea at bay.  At times, the best medicine is simply lying on my side. I can still email and do a little work in that horizontal position, but it isn’t the most efficient. And sometimes I just don’t feel like doing anything.
 

On the bright side, Cathy and I went on a nice walk today. I felt the pace was a little brisker than it has been the past few days, and the distance was a bit greater.  I need to keep pushing myself, even if the progress is barely incremental.  It is always fun for me to have Cathy go with me the entire distance, and today was no exception. Among other things, we talked about the undergraduate class she is teaching this fall (105 students). I really enjoyed listening to her talk about what new things she is doing in that class and how she is trying to make an excellent class even better. She is such an outstanding teacher, and is so dedicated to her students. The students are so lucky to have her as their teacher, and the department and university are lucky to have her on faculty.
 

I am grateful that today is a bit better than yesterday.  And I am so grateful that my tumors are still inactive. I desperately want to feel lots better, of course, but I know that will come. It helps to feel even just a little bit better. And it helps to have hope that we will solve my problem relatively soon and move on to the next chemo regimen. I can tell already that this regimen will be tougher than the previous one, but if we can deal effectively with my pain and nausea, then I’m confident that I’ll deal with the chemo. If need be, they may dial back the potency of the drugs to make them more tolerable. They had to do that with the first regimen, because of my platelets, and that certainly didn’t render the therapy less effective. There is lots to do to get this right, but I have an excellent team of medical professionals at Mayo and Piper to make sure it does indeed get done right. We’ll be fine, and we’ll be back on our feet fighting soon. As always, thanks for your support and your many words of encouragement. I don’t know what I would do without you.

Yesterday ended up being a pretty good day. My back pain remained manageable (about a 3 on a 10-point scale, down from 6-7) and I was able to keep all my food down. I even ended the day with a little ice cream and part of a cookie. Big steps. If it weren’t for the lingering pain and lack of appetite, I would say I turned a corner. Instead, let’s just say I turned a curve. I’m happy with the progress, and am especially glad that I did not need to take any oxycodone for the pain.  I think that helped keep my nausea at bay.

Today is pretty much the same as yesterday. I definitely am hanging in there … this is much, much better. Although I don’t have an appetite, at least I can eat in small quantities.  It is important for me to keep eating and to keep consuming fluids. I am doing the best I can.

Cathy and I went on a walk this morning. Cathy finished her outing with a run, whereas I kept strolling along … I went about as far as I did yesterday. Although my energy level wasn’t great, it is so important for me to keep moving. I’m still trying … still fighting.

I am looking forward to watching “Stand Up to Cancer” tonight (it is on all major networks); I am especially interested in seeing who from Piper is represented. As far as I am concerned, they all are part of the dream team. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

I also don’t know what I’d do without your continued love and support. I draw tremendous strength from you, and for that I am forever grateful.

Have a wonderful weekend!

I hope you all had a great weekend. Cathy and I had a very relaxing weekend that, unfortunately, went by way too quickly.  Although I enjoyed early morning walks (and late afternoon strolls in the desert), I otherwise didn’t feel well enough to do too much.  It was, therefore, a good weekend to watch the US Open tennis tournament.  There were certainly some good matches, and I really enjoyed watching them.
 

My back pain has settled in to a level that I would consider “mild” (3 on a 10-point scale), so I have not supplemented with any oxycodone recently, as that tends to make me nauseous. I’ve been battling what I’d call mild nausea anyway, but it hasn’t impacted my eating too much at all.  I am so grateful for Cathy working so hard to make food that I will tolerate and will be good for me. I just don’t know what I would do without her.  And although I do not have much of an appetite, I am able to eat and I sense that my appetite is improving each day. Progress …. one day at a time.
 

We are very much looking forward to my endoscopic procedure this Wednesday. We so hope that they determine what is causing my pain (and nausea) and then that they can do something about it. It is critical that I get stronger and feel better so that I can tolerate the more toxic chemotherapy regimen. The next round of chemo will not be scheduled until after the results of the endoscopic test. Stay tuned …
 

Cathy and I watched “Stand Up To Cancer” on Friday night. It is encouraging that there are so many bright and dedicated individuals fighting cancer, but at the same time it is so sad that more progress has not been made.
 

I still have hope for my own fight against cancer, but I know that it is in fact a major battle, one that will not be won easily. The odds may be against me, but I have a lot going for me, from my medical team to my Team of friends and family. I have to stay positive, and keep fighting the fight. I know I am not fighting alone. For that I am most grateful. Thanks for your support!