Sid Bacon

The weather has definitely changed.  I needed a t-shirt instead of a tank top this morning for my walk.  And I preferred walking on the sunny side of the street …
 

Cathy and I did indeed go on a nice walk this morning. It may have been a bit longer than I’ve been going lately, and the pace was not too bad (fortunately, I didn’t actually measure it, so I can at least imagine that I was walking a bit faster than I have been lately).
 

It was nice to go to Piper yesterday afternoon and get some fluids.  I was pretty nauseous at first, but I was feeling better by the time I left; it helped that they also gave me some anti-nausea medication intravenously.  Although I was unable to keep my food down on Monday, I am happy to say that I’m much better now and am eating a fairly regular diet.  Cathy even made a high-protein smoothie for me about mid morning, before she packed-up her work here and headed to campus.
 

It is unclear why I had a set-back in terms of being so nauseous on Monday. One hypothesis is that I need to keep an anti-nausea patch on during the off week as well during the on week. I wasn’t using one during the off week because I didn’t think it was necessary, that the chemo was out of my system by then.  It turns that the chemo is out of my system, but that the consequences of the chemo (e.g., irritated GI tract) are not, and that those lingering consequences can make one nauseous.  It makes sense to me, and is certainly worth a try.  With the other chemo, the patch was more effective for me than the pills that I use whenever I get nauseous, so I am optimistic that with the patch I will do much better with this new chemo.
 

I appreciate all the feedback I get, either through the guestbook or direct email. Particularly now, when things have been a bit more challenging, I greatly benefit from your words of wisdom and encouragement. For example, one friend told me I was at a rough patch in a marathon, and that I would get through it one step at a time.  When I look back at this marathon I’m in, and gain some perspective of context, then I realize that I’m doing pretty well right now.  I’m certainly not at my best – I was there a couple months ago – but I’m a long way from being at my worst.  We’ve made great progress thus far; I need to remember that and be thankful for it. It is challenging to be in pain and to feel nauseous, there is no denying that, but no one said this journey would be easy or for the faint of heart. We’ll get through this patch, staying focused on getting better and knowing that this challenging time will pass. Thanks for helping me in this fight!

I should know better than to trust extended (5- to 7-day) weather forecasts.  The one I saw a couple days ago did not have triple digits in sight … indeed, the highs were in the low to mid 90s for the most part.  The one I saw today had at least two days of triple digits.  I don’t believe either one … and I’m not going to worry about it, either.  I know that fall is right around the corner, and it is still the case that the mornings and evenings are absolutely delightful.  There is a real coolness to the mornings that makes for perfect exercise weather, and I don’t think that is going to change any time soon.  And the evenings – though not cool – have a soft pleasantness to them that has coaxed us out for a few evening strolls lately. I may have to be careful not to burn off too many calories! …
 

I went on a nice 40-minute walk this morning. Unfortunately, I went alone. Cathy had to leave around 7:00 AM, so she didn’t have time for exercising. (I’ll take her on a stroll this evening … that is not much exercise for a runner, but it is good just to get out and move, and it is especially nice to do because it is so enjoyable.)
 

A good friend (Mary) wrote in the guestbook the other day about Patience. I have a lot of patience for some things … for example, I have no problem delaying the purchase of an item that is not really necessary but is something that might be nice to have. Although I appreciate Mary saying that I have been patient, I must admit that I do not feel as though I have been at all patient with my pain. I want to get rid of it, and I want to get rid of it now. I’ve had to endure, certainly, but I don’t think I’ve endured very well. I need to somehow regroup and put my pain in perspective.  It is too easy for me to remember the days when I had no pain or nausea and long for those days. But that is just moving backwards, which is something I definitely do not want to do. I need to look forward, and I need to move forward one step at a time. I have made such incredible progress against this awful cancer; I need to remain focused on that.  I need to embrace my new chemo regimen … it is more toxic and thus more difficult for me, but I trust that it is even tougher on those nasty cancer cells.  As I move forward one step at a time, I need to be patient and have faith that the pain will lessen and possibly go away. As I make my way through this grueling marathon, I need to fight especially hard so that I may persevere through these more difficult and challenging times.
 

I have hope that today will be better than yesterday and that tomorrow will be better than today. There will be setbacks, but we’ll fight through them. Thank you for all your help in this fight ... I rely upon your support even more than you know.  

Cathy and I went on a nice 30-minute walk this morning before she had to dash off to a meeting in downtown Phoenix. I felt pretty strong on the walk … it was such a great pleasure to enjoy the cool morning with Cathy, and to have that time to talk.  I am afraid my physical struggles are taking their toll on both of us, but especially on Cathy, who works so hard to balance her busy work life with her care giving. She wants to be there for me without so many other distractions.  She is working so hard to stay on top of her work life, but of course that is no easy task.  It would help if I were handling this chemo better (assuming my problems are related to the chemo …). Maybe next week …
 

As I alluded to above, this has been a tough week.  I inexplicably got sick again yesterday about noon.  I was scheduled to go to Piper for more fluids in the afternoon, which was a good thing, as I really needed them. Instead of me driving, Cathy took time away from work and took me to Piper.  I slept through most of the infusion, which included some anti-nausea medication.  I felt better last night and was able to eat and drink a fair bit of fluids … and keep them all down! I am hopeful that the nausea stays away now and that I am able to feel strong going into chemo on Monday. If I don’t handle the chemo any better, they may need to fine-tune the dose a bit more, getting it just right for my body.  I don’t know if that is an option for this Monday … perhaps they’ll want to give me one more treatment at this particular dosage before making any additional adjustments.  We’ll soon find out.
 

Cathy and I both remember that I struggled at the beginning of the first regimen of chemo. Some of it was the chemo, which needed to be scaled back for my body, but some of it may have been the disease.  At this point, I do not believe my struggles are related to the disease, as the tumors are turned off and are starting to die.  At least that was the story about a month ago … and I’m sticking with it!!
 

I am hoping to feel good this weekend, so that Cathy and I can get out of the house together for awhile. Such outings, even if brief, are good for us and help us deal with the rest of the weekend, where we are more or less confined inside (or at least that is the way it feels).  On the bright side, it helps that the weather is nicer … spending even a little time outside is a great way to break up the day.
 

Monday will be a long day at Piper.  These chemo days seem to run from 7 AM to 4 PM.  If I am feeling well enough, I will write a journal entry during that time.  If you don’t hear from me, you’ll know that I just wasn’t up to writing. 
 

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  I want you to know that I feel your support and am lifted by it.  Thanks for all you are doing for Cathy and me. Your support is critical.