Sid Bacon

Despite the blistering heat, with overnight lows around 90, Cathy and I are still getting out and exercising each morning.  Cathy joined me for the entire walk again today, for the third day in a row … awesome! I guess there is some advantage to the high temperatures!
 

I enjoyed being at work these past two days. In addition to providing a sense of normalcy, I was able to meet friends/colleagues for lunch on both days … Quentin and Wayne on Tuesday and Panch on Wednesday.  It was great to see them and get caught up a bit.  Today I plan to attend a retreat on campus for most of the day.  The retreat includes some of the leaders in the Office of Knowledge Enterprise Development at ASU, and the topic is broadly on how to advance the research mission of the university (the office used to be called Research and Economic Affairs). I am an Associate Vice President in OKED, although I have not contributed much in that capacity as I was appointed just a couple weeks prior to my diagnosis.  Panch is the leader of that office, and has been incredibly generous and gracious throughout my recovery. I would not be where I am today without his support and understanding. I am hopeful, though, that I’ll now be able to start contributing, if even just a little bit.  This retreat seems like a good springboard for that, and certainly a great way for me to get back in the loop on some of the most important and challenging issues we face in the office. It also will be nice to attend so that I can see some of my colleagues again.
 

Despite having an ulcer that may be causing nausea and back pain, I have felt pretty good all week.  I realize, of course, that the nausea and pain can hit me at anytime, but so far so good. I am so grateful to be feeling well … I certainly do not take it – or anything else – for granted anymore.
 

Have a great day, and thanks so much for your support!

I am working at home today, after working at the university the past three days. I have truly enjoyed going to campus. I wrote previously that it provided a sense of normalcy, and it certainly did. Recently I have been thinking about the word “normalcy” and what it means for me. I tend to think of it as being back to “normal”, or, in other words, being back to where things were before. In my case, that would be before my diagnosis, before getting so sick. I am not back to where I was. Our lives understandably have been turned upside down … we are still working our way through our new situation, learning to live in a very different context. Through our ordeal, Cathy and I have learned that we do not want to return exactly to the way things were before. We are now working to redefine our new normal, to redefine how we want to live. Among other things, we realize more than ever the importance of living one day at a time. We also know we want to sharpen our focus on the most important aspects of our lives, our family and friends. Don’t get me wrong, it is not that we want to throw out all we had or did before. Indeed, there are certain aspects of our previous lives that we want back; some we’ll get, some we may not. Regardless, I believe we will define a new “normal” that will – overall – be better than what we had previously. And that will be one of the blessings of this cancer.
 

Although we still may be defining “normal”, I am happy to say I am doing things that certainly are part of that definition, such as exercising, going to work, traveling, going out to eat, going to movies, seeing friends, etc. I am grateful that I can do those things, as there was a time not long ago when I could not … I am definitely making progress. The recovery road is long, but we are on the right track.
 

I am feeling good today. No back pain or nausea. I had just a touch of nausea last night, but occasional bouts are to be expected until we get this ulcer healed. Cathy and I went our separate ways this morning …I walked and she ran. I am glad she ran at the expense of walking, as I know how important it is to keep up with one’s exercise routine, and it had been several days since she ran. I finished my 3-mile walk a few minutes before she finished her run … we both were plenty hot, as the temperatures were already in the upper 90s at 6:30 this morning. Ouch!  Cathy took a quick dip in the pool soon after getting back home … even the water temperature is getting up there …
 

I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks for all your support!

Cathy and I have enjoyed watching the Olympics.  We’ve only watched in prime time, with the necessary tape delay.  Sometimes we knew the outcome (had inadvertently heard it on the radio), sometimes we didn’t, and sometimes we slept through the event and had to read about it in the paper the next day (as you may know, I’m getting pretty good at napping … I’m listening to my body and napping whenever it says it is time to rest, or evenhints that it is time to rest). This year in particular I have thought about the 1984 Olympics in LA. I don’t recall watching all that much of those Olympics, except on the 11th of August, when Cathy and I were in the hospital waiting for Laura to be born. Unfortunately, especially for Cathy’s sake, our Olympic event was more of a marathon than a sprint.  We spent most of the day in the hospital, walking around trying to induce labor naturally. About eight hours later, we had our prize, and it beat the heck out of anyone’s gold medal! And our prize has gotten better each year. We are so lucky … within 17 months we had two wonderful prizes, one named Laura and one named Dan, and both much better than gold!
 

We have had the pleasure this year of having Laura stay with us over her birthday weekend. It has been great to have her here. Cathy’s sister, Mary, came into town Saturday morning to help with some work at Cathy’s and Mary’s mom’s house. Laura willingly volunteered to spend her birthday working hours and hours at the house, alongside her mom and aunt, in 110+ degree weather. After a long day, we went to a local pizzeria and had a fun and well-deserved dinner. We were joined there by Cathy’s other sister, Karen, and her boyfriend Andrew. We were back at it on Sunday, but stopped in the early afternoon in order to have lunch and a nap (my influence).  Last night we watched the closing ceremonies of the Olympics. It looked like the athletes were really enjoying themselves … as it should be.
 

I’ve been feeling pretty well lately … no nausea, thank goodness. I have, unfortunately, had stomach and back pain, which is almost certainly due to the ulcer. I am hoping that my slight change in diet and the increase in dosage of one of my medications will soon alleviate those pains. It isn’t fun being in pain, but it is comforting to know that it is due to something as mundane as an ulcer. And I’m confident it won’t last too much longer … I just have to hang in there and be patient. I can do that.
 

Although the weather has been fairly oppressive, we’ve still been getting out and exercising in the morning. Yesterday I walked alone while Cathy and Mary went on a run, but today Cathy walked with me the entire way … my treat. It had been a while since I had measured my walking pace. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I am walking a mile in just over 14 minutes. My fast pace used to be just over 15 minutes per mile. I got faster somewhere along the line, which is great. But I am definitely not ready to compete as a race walker … those athletes can cover a mile in less than six minutes. That is pretty amazing!  
 

I have two more weeks until I start my new chemo regimen, on the 27th of August. On Friday the 24th I am scheduled for blood work (including the CA 19-9 tumor marker) and a CT scan. We’ll get the results of those tests on the 27th. I will be anxious to get them. I’ve been feeling well so I expect to get good results, but – believe me – there is nothing quite like actually gettingthose results. In the meantime, it is a little nerve-wracking to wait, to see how our fight against this terrible cancer is going. I know we are fighting hard, that we are a formidable team, so I wait with a certain degree of confidence.
 

Thank you for all you do to help me with this fight! I know I am not fighting alone.

I think today is going to be a pretty good day. I do not feel nauseous and the only aches and pains, which aren’t too terribly bad, can be attributed to the ulcer.
 

Although it was in the low 90s this morning, there were enough clouds to hide the sun most of the time that we were exercising outside, which made it feel fairly comfortable, at least for walking. Cathy walked the first half or so of my route with me and then took off running. She was planning to meet her sister, Mary, in the desert so they could run together. They haven’t returned home yet, so I suspect they were successful in meeting each other on the trails. I hope they have a good run. (They just got home … they did indeed have a good – and long – run, each saying the other took them farther than they would have gone on otherwise.)
 

A week or so ago I mentioned the book “Zeitoun”, a non-fiction account of one family’s experiences with Hurricane Katrina. At the time, I was about half-way through the book. I have now finished it. Although you will be disappointed with our country’s response to this natural disaster, I highly recommend the book. I mentioned that the husband/father in the book, Zeitoun, is a very generous man. Indeed, his generosity is incredibly heart-warming. But it is clear to me that he receives as much from his acts of kindness as he gives.  He is fulfilled by his compassion and his helpfulness. It is what drives him, what propels him to tour the streets by canoe, in search of people and animals in need. And it is what drives him and his family to set up a foundation to help those in need. I certainly believe that the more we give the more we get. I think that is the case for Zeitoun. I sure hope so.
 

I just happen to be married to someone who always thinks of others first, who wants others to be happy at all times, and who is incredibly generous in all aspects of her life. I can only hope she, too, is rewarded for her generosity and kindness, and that she somehow gets at least as much as she gives. That certainly would be a lot! That is what she deserves …

Today started out great, so it should be a great day. Cathy walked the entire 3 miles with me. (I think I benefitted from her extra long run yesterday, or maybe she was being extra nice. In any event, I’ll take it!) There was sufficient cloud cover to help keep the temperature “down” a bit, although the humidity from last night’s rain seemed to more than offset the cloud cover. Still, it was a very enjoyable walk and a great way to start the day.
 

The stomach and back pain apparently caused by the ulcer are a bit less severe today than they have been the last several days, although I am poised to take some pain medication (oxycodone) if the pain even approaches the level it has been at lately … it is time to get ahead of the pain, to see if I can get it under control. I’m not a fan of taking lots of pain medication, but I’m not an especially big fan of pain, either, particularly at the level it has been the last several days.
 

The scientist in me would like to figure out why the pain has been worse lately than it was last week, but alas that may just remain a mystery, something to ponder, but perhaps not figure out. I assume that I wasn’t experiencing the pain a couple weeks ago because I was taking Aleve (good for the pain, but not for the ulcer).
 

Unfortunately, I have allowed myself to be quite disappointed by the recent pain. I am afraid I have focused too much on it. I can’t blame myself for wanting to feel good. I have this one-month window during which time I am not receiving any chemotherapy. It is an excellent time to rest, gain some strength, and enjoy feeling normal. And for some of this month, I feel I have done that remarkably well. But lately I haven’t felt so good, and I have been letting that get me down. Instead of focusing on my pain, which is due to a very treatable and not very serious condition, I should be focusing on the fact that I am responding extraordinarily well to chemotherapy treatment. Instead of letting my mind wander to depressing thoughts, I should be focusing on the hope I have, and the optimism I gain from it. It may not be all that unusual to get down and to think about negative things, but it certainly is not useful. Indeed, it is detrimental. I need to stay positive. At times that may require extraordinary effort, but so be it. That will have to be one of my challenges.
 

As I face this and other challenges, I gain strength from the extraordinary Team Bacon. Your support is incredibly helpful, and makes going through this ordeal much more tolerable. I can’t thank you enough.