Sid Bacon

The cable gal was here for a good hour and a half this morning.  She improved the signal strength coming into the house and left us with a new modem.  We should be good to go for some time now. It is amazing how inconvenient it is to be without an internet connection, even when it is just for several hours. 
 

The overnight temperatures in the outlying areas of Phoenix will be below freezing for several nights in a row, starting tonight.  We’ll need to cover some of our plants that don’t do so well in frosty conditions.  Cathy and I will need to stay covered as well, as we don’t do so well in the cold …
 

My walks are getting pushed into the early to mid afternoon, when it is at its warmest.  I suspect it will be a nippy walk this afternoon. Still, it is important that I keep up the exercise, regardless of the temperature.  Cathy is always so gracious to go with me, even though she gets plenty of exercise by running.
 

Yesterday we dropped the dosage on my pain (fentanyl) patch from 75 to 50.  I don’t have any back pain at this lower dose, which is great.  It means I am back to the dose I was at several months ago, when I was feeling my best. It also suggests that the radiation was effective in shrinking my tumor. I am very grateful for all of this. I certainly am not taking any of it for granted.
 

Because I am having a hard time eating and keeping my food down, the decision was made to increase the calories in my TPN.  This will be good, and will help me maintain or even gain weight.  Even though I am struggling with my eating, I am working hard at getting calories orally. Cathy is doing her best to make foods that I might be able to eat. I am still able to eat oatmeal and I just had a baked potato for lunch. I’ll move on to the ice cream soon …
 

I hope you all have a great weekend.  I’ll write again on Monday.  As always, thanks for your love and support. 

It is still cold for Phoenix, with daytime highs in the upper 40s and nighttime lows in the upper 20s.  We have kept our frost-sensitive plants covered, as it is too much work (my take, anyway) to uncover them during the day and then cover them up again at night.  We have a couple more nights where we need to keep them covered.  I hope they have survived well.
 

The unseasonably cold temperatures have not stopped Cathy from running or Cathy and me from walking in the morning.  We just need to stay bundled.  I felt a little weak on Saturday, so the desert walk was relatively short, but I felt much stronger yesterday and today, so the distance was greater and the pace was brisker.  It felt good.
 

It is supposed to warm up considerably later this week and weekend.  The Rock and Roll ½ marathon and marathon are scheduled for this coming weekend … it should be perfect weather for the runners (and pretty nice for spectators as well).  Speaking of the Rock and Roll race …
 

It was Friday the 13th of 2012 when my primary care physician called me with news that an ultrasound had discovered a mass on my pancreas and two spots on my liver.  Cathy and I were just about ready to go to the expo and pick up our Rock and Roll race packets when I received the call. Needless to say, we didn’t pick up our race packets nor did we run the race. At that time, I was having symptoms which made it difficult to run (though I did ask my PCP if I could still run the race … he said yes).  Cathy and I have noted this one-year anniversary with gratitude, and are looking forward to many more anniversaries that will mark my successful journey with cancer.  I am determined to live a long life with cancer, where it is more of a chronic disease than a death sentence.  I certainly have the best medical care to help me on my journey, and I certainly have the most impressive Team supporting me and cheering me on. It is also important that I keep a positive attitude through this all.  All three components are important for my successful journey.
 

Although I had reduced my pain patch from 75 to 50 mcg/h late last week, I started having some back pain and thus we are back to 75.  I am not disappointed in this; I am still very pleased with the reduction from 275 to 75.  And I am very happy to not feel any pain. Moreover, I suspect we’ll be dropping to 50 or lower once I am back on chemo and the drugs are shrinking and shutting down my tumor. 

Things are going pretty well right now.  I am feeling better today than I have for quite some time. I hope to keep all my food down and to start eating better.  I can’t rely upon TPN forever, though I am grateful to have it now because I have not been able to eat much lately.  Without TPN, I would be losing weight somewhat precipitously.  As it is, I am hanging in there with a pretty stable weight. Once I start eating more (and keeping it down), I should gain some weight. I want to be as strong as possible when I start chemo, probably in early February.
 

Thanks for helping me on my journey.  The foe requires all the fight we can muster, and I am confident that we are up for the task.  We will all keep fighting in whatever way we can!

I feel as if I may be turning a corner in terms of appetite and being able to keep my food down.  I didn’t eat all that much yesterday, but I didn’t get sick and generally felt pretty good.  Today is starting out the same way as yesterday … this may be a trend!  I sure hope so.  As I’ve said, I can’t stay on TPN forever, so I need to consume sufficient calories orally.  I’ll continue to do my best.
 

I’m going to make a quick trip to Piper this morning. While on TPN, I have to have my power port de-accessed and re-accessed at least every week (the power port is the way in which, for example, chemotherapy drugs and TPN are delivered intravenously).  Also, I need to pick up some prescriptions. Almost all of the scripts can be faxed to our pharmacy, except the one for my pain patches.  Scripts for pain patches have to be delivered by hand.  I’ll probably be at Piper for about 15 minutes, but I’ll drive for an hour …
 

Cathy went on a long run this morning.  We’ll walk afterwards.  It is still cold here, so we’ll be bundled up warmly.  Yesterday’s high was only 45 degrees … 22 degrees below our average temperature for this time of year.  We’ll keep those frost-sensitive plants covered for another day or so.
 

I am looking forward to the weekend. Not only will the weather be nicer (average or above average temperatures), but we’ll have company as well. Dan and Laura will be here, as will Cathy’s sister, Mary, and her husband Kevin.  We’ll have a full house, with people I really enjoy.  I am glad I am starting to feel better.  I hope to be feeling strong this weekend so I can enjoy all the festivities (many of which will center around the Rock and Roll ½ marathon and marathon).
 

My journey is an interesting one. My diagnosis certainly makes me focus on what is most important in my life. And it makes me appreciate every day. I have evolved from a mid- to long-term planner to someone who focuses on the short-term, with some homage to longer term plans. I enjoy this new focus, and am sorry it took a dire diagnosis to force me to focus this way.
 

I hope you all have a wonderful day.  Thanks, as always, for your love and support.  It is overwhelming and much appreciated. 

I think I definitely have turned a corner in terms of how I am feeling.  I ate pretty well yesterday and didn’t get sick … well, the peanut butter/chocolate smoothie in the afternoon didn’t sit all that well with me, but it wasn’t anything that some of my anti-nausea medication couldn’t handle. I think I’ll stick with our more typical fruit smoothies from now on.  Those seem to sit better with me.
 

I must say, it is great to feel well again.  I may not be eating as much as I have in the past, but I’m working up to it.  I lost a few pounds this past week, so I really need to focus on eating.  Of course, it is much easier if I have at least somewhat of an appetite, as I do now.  If I combine a reasonable amount of eating with my TPN, I should gain weight at a pretty good pace. Ultimately we need to drop the TPN from my “diet”.  I am grateful for it, but I won’t miss it once I have moved on to getting sufficient calories orally. The sooner the better …
 

Cathy and I went on a nice walk in the desert this morning. Although we needed to be bundled, we both noted that it was warmer than it had been the past several days.  I think our warming trend has started.  It will be in the low 70s this weekend … it should be perfect for the Rock and Roll ½ marathon and marathon.
 

After months of challenges and speed bumps along our journey, I finally feel as though things are getting better.  My pain is under control with a relatively low dose of fentanyl (pain patch); my appetite is slowly coming back; and I have a good amount of energy for my walks.  At the end of this month, one of the surgeons at Mayo will completely internalize my tube that is used to help drain the bile … at least that is the plan.  I hope the CT scan that will be performed a few days before the surgery will not counter-indicate that tube replacement. It will be nice not to have a short tube coming out of my side. And once we stop TPN, I will no longer need a tube dangling from my power port (the power port is how the TPN is delivered to me intravenously).   With all these tubes, I feel as if I am part machine or, worse yet, a sick individual that needs lots of tubing to keep going. I know I am neither, but I will definitely be glad to not have the tubes anymore.
 

I am looking forward to starting chemo again, and resuming my fight against cancer.  That should be in early February. I am optimistic that the chemo regimen will be successful.  I’m not quite prepared to lose my hair again, but that is a trivial side effect given the importance of the chemo.  At least I won’t need any shampoo for a while.
 

I feel fortunate that things are going as well as they are.  There is so much I have to be grateful for, and I certainly do not take for granted these days that I am feeling well. I know that I am not lucky enough to feel good everyday, so I’ll relish the days that I do.
 

As always, thank you for your love and support. Cathy and I appreciate it immensely.  It plays such an important role in our fight.

It is finally warming up here (it may hit 70 degrees) … we can now safely remove the covers on our frost-sensitive plants.  That was quite a cold spell for Phoenix.  I hope that is it for this winter, as some of our bigger plants were a challenge to cover (moreover, I just don’t like cold weather anymore … don’t know how I managed living in Minneapolis, other than the fact that I just didn’t know better).
 

I’ve been eating pretty well these past few days, and keeping everything down.  This should really help with my weight gain.  I’d like to be off of TPN in a week or so, but we’ll see.  Preparing the TPN and hooking me up has become so routine that Cathy and I can almost do it in our sleep.  Cathy has the harder job … she has gotten really good at it.
 

Cathy remains the consummate nurse and companion.  She does so much for me, it is a somewhat overwhelming.  As she says, I’d do the same for her.  That is true, but I just wouldn’t do it as well!  For many, many reasons, I’m glad our roles are not reversed.
 

There was an article in today’s paper talking about whether parents are happier than non-parents.  The data, surprisingly to me, are mixed.  Being a parent is one of the most satisfying things I have done, and I am unquestionably happier than if I weren’t a parent. Of course, I really wanted to be a parent.  Maybe that influences one’s satisfaction.  I feel so fortunate to be happily married and to have two wonderful children. I couldn’t be happier.
 

Thanks for all your posts in the guestbook, and for all your support.  I am truly overwhelmed by the support Cathy and I are receiving.  It is a blessing to be able to share this journey with you and to feel that you are with me every step of the way. We are fighting this disease from various angles and perspectives … all of them are important.  Thank you for your contributions to this fight.  One certainly does not fight this disease alone, and I feel fortunate to have you with me.